So all you guys have been drafted to play for this illustrious franchise, the Macon Babies, and you should feel lucky. To my first round draft pick, Steve Slaton, I knew when I pre-set my player rankings and draft strategy, that the chips would fall to where you would be my guy. Yes, you are more valuable to me than Tom Brady, Donovan McNabb, Steve Smith, and Clinton Portis. Don't let all those Pro Bowls and Super Bowls get you down. Your team is perennially awful, but you are my shining star.
In week one, I need a good performance out of you. When the Eagles play the Panthers in that opening tilt, I could use a 300-399-yard game out of Donovan McNabb. A couple of touchdowns would be great, but no interceptions please. At the same time, I need Steve Smith to get over 200 yards and a couple touchdowns. Basically, I need an offensive shootout. I'm not even going to discuss how ridiculous things need to get if Portis gets injured in the preseason and I have to put in the Panthers' Jonathan Stewart.
Furthermore, Peyton Manning, you're not on my team, and, in fact, you're my opposition. Thus, a 10-40 performance with 120 yards and a touchdown would be a blessing. Especially if all 10 of those completions are to my guy Dallas Clark. That's right, please ignore Reggie Wayne and your other speedy receivers. Clark is slower, therefore more thorough. Remember the tortoise and the hare? If not, I'll give you a hint: the rabbit loses.
Otherwise, if Brady hurts his knee again, I'm gonna need you to step up JaMarcus Russ... Okay, that's a long shot. I should just stop. Good luck, guys!
-Jeremy
Owner
Macon Babies
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Simply Genius
Bronson Arroyo has always been an interesting character to me.
You know, the guy who started with the Red Sox that had the long hair.
He was also the only white baseball player with braids, and he has been a singer and guitarist with produced CD's.
On the field, he's always been the type of pitcher that no one seems to be able to explain, we just know he's good.
I couldn't tell you if he's a fireballer, or if he paints the corners, or if he throws a loop-de-doo knuckleball like we all did on Nintendo games.
I just know he always seems to be successful.
Now, as it turns out, he's also a genius, and he may have used steroids.
You see, Arroyo has admitted that he's not all that careful with his supplements now, and he used to take andro and amphetamines, which have both been banned.
But they weren't when he took them.
That's the kicker that most people booing Manny, Papi, and the rest of the "Dirty 104" as I have just in the last 10 words dubbed them, don't realize.
Anyone on that 2003 list was found guilty of taking supplements that were not illegal yet or had no formalized testing or punishment.
Arroyo's stance, paraphrased:
"Yep, I took lots of stuff back then. Good stuff. Legal stuff. Was it laced with steroids? WHO KNOWS??? But it was AWESOME! In fact, I'm probably on that list from '03. Be shocking if I wasn't. If you're asking whether I'd do it again, the answer is abso-frickin'-lutely. If that stuff were legal, I'd buy the Sam's Club supersized jug. To be honest, I'm not very careful now. I don't take what's banned, but I do take anything that's not."
Do you know what that means?
If it does come out that he was on the 2003 list, no one will be shocked.
Anyone who's read the story I just read won't buy a newspaper, magazine, or tell-all book simply to find out the details about Bronson's steroid use.
No one will assume that because he was on the list, he was shooting the hard stuff into his left glute. (or perhaps the right glute; I don't know proper protocol.)
He didn't pull the Palmiero finger point, or the A-Rod "I'm sorry for what I may or may not have done that could have possibly been against a rule or statute or maybe law," or even a Papi "I think I took tainted vitamins."
He told us exactly what he took, told us what he's taking, and told us why he did what he did then and why he does what he does now.
It'll probably be taken way out of context by those who aren't used to such, but not by me.
I appreciate honesty.
You know, the guy who started with the Red Sox that had the long hair.
He was also the only white baseball player with braids, and he has been a singer and guitarist with produced CD's.
On the field, he's always been the type of pitcher that no one seems to be able to explain, we just know he's good.
I couldn't tell you if he's a fireballer, or if he paints the corners, or if he throws a loop-de-doo knuckleball like we all did on Nintendo games.
I just know he always seems to be successful.
Now, as it turns out, he's also a genius, and he may have used steroids.
You see, Arroyo has admitted that he's not all that careful with his supplements now, and he used to take andro and amphetamines, which have both been banned.
But they weren't when he took them.
That's the kicker that most people booing Manny, Papi, and the rest of the "Dirty 104" as I have just in the last 10 words dubbed them, don't realize.
Anyone on that 2003 list was found guilty of taking supplements that were not illegal yet or had no formalized testing or punishment.
Arroyo's stance, paraphrased:
"Yep, I took lots of stuff back then. Good stuff. Legal stuff. Was it laced with steroids? WHO KNOWS??? But it was AWESOME! In fact, I'm probably on that list from '03. Be shocking if I wasn't. If you're asking whether I'd do it again, the answer is abso-frickin'-lutely. If that stuff were legal, I'd buy the Sam's Club supersized jug. To be honest, I'm not very careful now. I don't take what's banned, but I do take anything that's not."
Do you know what that means?
If it does come out that he was on the 2003 list, no one will be shocked.
Anyone who's read the story I just read won't buy a newspaper, magazine, or tell-all book simply to find out the details about Bronson's steroid use.
No one will assume that because he was on the list, he was shooting the hard stuff into his left glute. (or perhaps the right glute; I don't know proper protocol.)
He didn't pull the Palmiero finger point, or the A-Rod "I'm sorry for what I may or may not have done that could have possibly been against a rule or statute or maybe law," or even a Papi "I think I took tainted vitamins."
He told us exactly what he took, told us what he's taking, and told us why he did what he did then and why he does what he does now.
It'll probably be taken way out of context by those who aren't used to such, but not by me.
I appreciate honesty.
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